Don't be friends with your children at the age when you should set rules!
In recent years, there has been a popular saying in family education:
Parents should give their children love and freedom, space and rights; the best way for parents to educate their children should be to be friends with their children.
But is it really suitable for parents to be friends with their children?
Teachers must first do a good job in education, have spare energy, and then be friends.
Parents must perform their duties first, and secondly, they are the children's friends.
We can pursue to be children's friends, but it must be based on rules.
The rules and the sense of boundaries are what parents should focus on helping their children cultivate, otherwise, the children will become more and more lawless!
Everyone must be aware of rules, this is the law of survival.
Bear children are all spoiled by their parents
Some time ago, Xiaoen accompanied her friends to see the house. The landlord was a mother and brought a 5 or 6-year-old boy.
While we were looking at the house, the little boy had been pestering his mother to play with his mobile phone.
Because the landlord was telling us about the house, he didn't reply to the child immediately.
The child immediately slapped his mother hard, yelling angrily: "Give it to me, you give it to me! Hear you!"
With a few words of effort, her belly, waist and back were beaten several times by the child.
At the time I was thinking: why this mother allowed her child to talk to her in such a disrespectful tone and treat her with such a rude behavior.
In order to achieve their own goals, children can unscrupulously interrupt their parents' conversations, beat and kick them viciously to attract attention, which is disrespect for their parents!
Parents and children must have a sense of boundaries, which means doing their own things within their boundaries. Keeping the boundaries of parents and helping children establish awareness of rules is the greatest responsibility for the children's future.
If we only emphasize friend-style education and neglect the discipline of children, the result will be a person who does not respect authority, rules, education, and selfishness.
Such children will suffer more and more blows in school and workplace in the future.
Let your children fear you, that’s what parents should do
The so-called respect is the child's willingness to listen to your teachings, which is the fear of respect.
This is undoubtedly an extremely high requirement for parents.
Establishing parental authority that cannot be trampled on is the basic skill of education.
And this kind of parental authority comes from the shaping of every bit in life.
1. Rules need to be flexible
For example: a child cannot touch it when he is young. But when it's bigger, the danger doesn't exist. Naturally, these rules can be adjusted, and there is no need to stay the same.
Therefore, when we are setting rules with children, we can use more sentences like "You can do..., but you have to wait until...".
In this way, it actually helps children learn to delay waiting.
The flexibility of the rules is also manifested in discussing the formulation of the rules with the children and allowing reasonable accommodations.
2. Make simple rules
Set simple rules and mark out places where children cannot enter, such as the kitchen; this will not only facilitate parents to perform discipline, but also make it easier for babies to follow.
The rules should use positive words, for example: you can leave your seat after eating.
Only need to set 2-5 rules, which should be suitable for the age and ability of the child;
All those who take care of the baby must implement it consistently.
Some responsibilities must be borne by the child.
There is such a dialogue:
Child: "If I make my pillow feathers all over the sky, would you still love me?"
Mother: "I will always love you, but you have to pack up your feathers."
Child: "If I sprinkle the paint on my sister, do you still love me?"
Mother: "I will always love you, but you are responsible for bathing my sister."
The mother in this story did a very good job, she took the trouble to guarantee, "I will always love you", but also did not forget to emphasize: children, you are responsible for your actions. You must try to find a way to recover or make up for the consequences of your actions.
Parents cannot help their children escape, but should ask their children to bear the consequences for their wrong words and deeds, so that the children have the honesty and courage to face the mistakes.
Of course, respect is mutual.
When children learn to respect their parents, parents should also learn to respect their children.
Children are not appendages and derivatives of their parents. They have their own independent personalities. Parents should respect, understand and guide them instead of being authoritarian and arranged.
Only when parents learn to respect their children, children will respect their parents more.
In fact, when children respect their parents, parents are also likely to examine and reflect on their own behavior under the influence of their children, and the family will become more and more harmonious.
Every word and deed of a parent has an unforgettable impact on the child.
Then, no matter how many rules and parenting skills are used for the child, the child will not convince you.
If there is any parenting technique in the world that is most effective.
That is what the parents say and do!
If you want to be friends with your children, then be a respectable mentor and helpful friend.
A good teacher is the first, and a good friend is the second.